Asher is ONE!!

I can’t believe our sweet boy is one today!  What a year!  Aaron and I have been re-telling and re-living different moments we remember from “this time last year.”  So many precious moments of history that we have built with our third child.  It has been a year of tears and laughter---and little sleep!---but we wouldn’t change any of it.  Asher is a gift of God’s love and grace to us and we are honored and humbled to be his mommy and daddy.  

I’ve been reflecting a lot on how parenting him as been different than parenting Levi and Bella.  I know many may not think that we would parent Asher any differently since we adopted him from birth and were holding him an hour and half after his delivery but his story is completely different than Levi or Bella’s and we honor that in how we love him.  

Asher may not have spent the first years of his life in an orphanage but he has experienced loss.  He lost his first family----and that’s huge.  Yes, he has been held (no kid has been held as much as he has!) and kissed and loved since day one by us, but we are not his biological parents and that will never change.  And one day he will feel that loss.  We have been intentional about the time we held him and fed him and talked to him to develop attachment with him.  Every baby comes in to this world having heard their parents voices during their time in utero.  I remember distinctly Bella crying and me talking to her and her stopping crying immediately.  I was familiar to her.  I had 40 weeks of history with her.  We didn’t have that with Asher.  We were virtual strangers to him and had to grow in that attachment with him.  Because of this we made sure we gave him almost all of his feedings the first few months of his life and we have never let him “cry it out.”  We want him to know that when he cries, we respond.  We are building trust and safety and connection with him and letting him know that his voice matters.  And if you have been around Asher in person, you might agree that we have succeeded on this point.  The kid has a LOUD voice and he’s not afraid to use it! 

We will always do our best to honor his loss and parent him knowing that while adoption is beautiful (and it is!) it is borne from loss and we believe that God can and does make beauty from ashes.  

We are so thankful today to see healing already taking place in Asher’s life.  We see him being more settled in his spirit, sleeping more soundly, laughing and smiling often.  He is a joy to be around and a complete blessing to our family.  So often adoptive parents hear from others how the child they have adopted is so lucky to have been adopted. And they mean well.  But we believe the complete opposite of this sentiment.  We know that we are the “lucky” ones.  We are the ones who have been given so much from Asher.  He has given us a glimpse of God’s love for us, he has helped us depend more on Jesus when we have had no more of our own strength to rely on, he has taught my kids how to love and serve when it gets hard and he has given us more joy than we could imagine.  We are the recipients of an unimaginable grace that humbles us daily.  

Happy Birthday John Asher Slaten!  You are so loved by your WHOLE family!

A Slaten Forever

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  Today we finalized Asher’s adoption and we told the kids, “He is now a Slaten forever!”  We couldn’t be more thrilled to be his forever family and continue to see his story unfold.  The picture is us with the judge and our attorney. 

What a fast, crazy journey we have been on!  I realize that we never updated with the full story of his adoption and that is basically because we have had our hands full this summer with all 3 kids at home and one being particularly fussy.  :)  So with Aaron holding Asher I will attempt to capture Asher’s adoption story.

We skyped with Asher’s birth mom and birth dad on May 13 and felt an immediate connection to them.  We really liked them and loved their bravery in choosing both life for their baby boy but also choosing adoption knowing that they were not prepared to care for him.  We were chosen by the them on May 15 with June 10 being Asher’s due date.  We were overwhelmed and excited to see how quickly God was growing our family.  I need to say that we knew that his BM and BD (birth mom and birth dad) wanted a very open adoption.  This meant that we would continue to be in contact them past what Lifeline required, which is quarterly updates sent to Lifeline for birth parents to pick up.  We felt called to domestic adoption with the thought of loving a BM and being a part of God’s redemptive work in her life as well as the baby we adopted.  So while this road might not be for everyone we continued to take each step God put before us and He has led us into a beautiful relationship with Asher’s BM and BD.  

Asher came earlier than we expected and what was supposed to be quick trip to Alabama to meet his BM and BD turned into a call from our social worker saying, “they are inducing her tonight, so pack for 2 weeks and hit the road!”  We ran around town like crazy tying up loose ends and then made the drive to meet not only our BM and BD but also to meet our son!  God was so very evident in every detail of our 2 weeks in Alabama.  It began on our way there with our social worker from Lifeline calling us with a possible place for us to stay in Alabama before we could travel back home after Asher was born.  We had many possible places to stay but had been praying that we could find a place that had a kitchen and a place for Bella and Levi to come stay with us since we didn’t know how long we would have to stay in Alabama.  Well the Lord answered that prayer one hundred fold for us.  We met and stayed with Jeff and Teri Kerby who opened their basement (and home) to us and gave us a home to be in those first 2 weeks with Asher.  They loved us so well and have become life long friends.  There are so many ways they blessed us-- home cooked meals, holding a screaming Asher for me to eat them, having Levi and Bella running around their house with their precious kids, to just having real conversation about life and Jesus.  We were blown away by God’s graciousness to us through the Kerby’s obedience to the Lord to say “yes” to being a part of our adoption story.  We are so thankful for them.

We met Asher’s BM and BD the night before he was born.  It was so very natural.  It doesn’t seem possible but it was.  We spent time hanging out and then headed to bed for her to be induced the next morning.  We visited with them off and on during the day as she labored (with an epidural!) and it was so precious getting to know the brave hearts of this sweet couple.  We met their families and were able to see some baby pictures that gave us some insight into who Asher looks like.  And what a sweet story we can tell him one day-or better yet that his own BM and BD can tell him.  Our sweet BM invited us to be in the room when Asher was born (behind the door curtain).  It was important to her that we hear his first cry and see him as soon after he was born as possible.  Such a precious gift from a completely unselfish heart.  We had some sweet time with them before Asher was born where I was able to lay hands on her and pray for her before she endured the last part of labor.  It was such a blessing.  

After Asher was born, we had about an hour and half with our BM and BD where we marveled over Asher and I was personally terrified of his lung power (which after almost 12 weeks I was right to be wary of!).  We were able to give them notes we had written as well as a necklace for her.  We also were able to share the Gospel with them through the sharing of the meaning of Asher’s name as well as the meanings of Levi and Bella’s name.  Aaron and Asher’s BD gave Asher his first bath together and we just shared such sweet time with them.  By the way John is after John the Baptist and means “God is gracious” and Asher means “happy or blessed” and was given a blessing of a life of abundance.  I also need to add another way God showed up in the details.  Our labor and delivery nurse was a believer who cared for our BM with such dedication and love.  She embraced our story and ministered to all of us with the love of Jesus.  What a precious way to surround our BM during such an emotional experience.  We were in awe of how God lined up every single detail. 

They wanted a hospital placement which means we had total care of Asher the whole time he was in the hospital.  God was so gracious in providing a free room at the hospital for us.  The hospital staff were so amazing in caring for us and being sensitive to the special circumstances of our open adoption.  We saw our BM and BD before she was discharged and agreed to meet them one more time before we came back home to Georgia.  We then spent the next 10 days living life with the Kerby’s.  It was like a vacation for us and our kids.  Levi actually cried when we left because he didn’t want to leave his new friends!  I think all of us agreed that we loved having built in playmates for our kids and the withdrawals from that was hard for all of us!  What could have been a very uncomfortable situation for us staying in a hotel or in a guest room ended up being a precious time with God ordained friends and plenty of space for a family in the midst of transition.

We passed our interstate paperwork phase (ICPC) in two days which was huge!  We had been told it could take an additional 2 weeks after it was filed.  Instead it took 2 days!  God was again so faithful!  We met our BM and BD for a picnic the night before we left to come home.  They were able to meet Levi and Bella and see the love they had for their new little brother.  I was in awe of her maturity and heart at seeing another mom care for her son’s needs.  She shared what peace she had in her decision and how she was so excited for Asher to be with us.  It was a sweet, sweet time getting to know them more and seeing these two teen-agers selflessly change the course of their lives and their son-for the better.  We love them so much and honor them and their love for Asher.    We feel strongly that God has called us to love our BM and BD as much as He has called us to love Asher.  We text pictures and updates to them weekly.  I’m so excited to say that they are really taking hold of this opportunity to change their lives. We are so excited to cheer them on and love them as they start the rest of their lives.  We know that not everyone will be called to this kind of open adoption but we can say that it has been nothing but a blessing to us.  We have God placed love in us for them and know that we are all in this together-brought together by crazy love for a precious little boy knit together with a purpose by His Creator.  We are linked to them forever and count it a privilege to know them.  

We are so thankful to everyone who has given to our adoption (completed puzzle coming soon!), brought us meals, asked us how we were doing and most importantly prayed for us.   Those prayers were answered in a million ways-both big and small.  We can’t express how grateful we are to have had so many people be a part of our adoption story.  God has been so faithful to meet us through every moment of this journey and we are excited to see what He has for us in the future!  

And then there were 5

Well the day we have waited for is finally here! 

We are excited to announce that John Asher Slaten (Called Asher)

was born June 4^th at 3:53 pm. We can not wait to share the entire story with everyone but for now we want you all to be the first to know that he is born and he is a part of our family. 

Here are a couple of pictures. Get ready world here comes another Slaten.

Huge Adoption Update!

Hey everyone!  We have some exciting news!  We have been chosen by a set of birthparents to adopt their precious baby boy!  We are so humbled at God’s orchestrating of events to lead us to this precious couple.  We can’t believe it has happened so fast!  This baby boy is due in early June which is only 3-4 weeks away!  We have prayed earnestly for this child and feel so excited about what God is doing in our family.  Levi and Bella are thrilled about meeting their baby brother!  Bella told us last night that it was going to be a “fun adventure!”  Join us in celebrating God’s heart and plan for us and our family!

Here are some ways we need your help!

1. Please pray for our birth parents who have shown great courage in choosing life for this baby and in choosing adoption.  We are humbled by their bravery and we honor them.
2. Please pray for the rest of the pregnancy that it would remain healthy and with a safe delivery.
3. Because this happened so fast, grant money might not be possible.  We are still needing financial help to complete our adoption fees.  SO many of you have given to us and we are so grateful!  We would love for everyone share this post with folks that might be inclined to also partner with our family to help us cover this last amount.  We believe God will provide and rest in His Sovereignty.  
4. If you feel led to give and for some reason this adoption does not work out (the birth parents change their mind etc.) please know that this money will only be used for our adoption and will stay in our adoption savings account for another birth parent matching.  We will not lose any of the money we have raised in a failed adoption.

How to give: Click the ‘donate’ button on the right side of this post. 

Thank you for being a part of this journey with us! 

April 13th Update

Hello everyone! 

First I want to say we are SO sorry for not updating everyone before now. Our plan was to do an update on Easter that would let everyone know where we are in our adoption process. I am going to do this post in bullet points. 

• We are still being blown away and extremely grateful for all of the generous gifts we have received from so many folks partnering with us in our journey to adopt. It has been amazing to see an increase in the balance of our ‘Adoption Fund’ savings account. Thank you for being apart of our adoption financially. 
• Our home study is DONE!!! That means that all of our paper work is done for every possible state in which we could adopt.
• We have completed our ‘Profile Book’ as well. This is a book filled with pictures of our family and details about us and our kids. The purpose of a profile book is for potential birth moms to be able to read and learn about our family. The hope is that a birth mom will see our profile book and choose us to raise the child that she will give birth to. 
• One more way we need you all to partner with us. We need you to pray! Here is the list of things to please pray for. 
• The health of the birth mom during her pregnancy. 
• The health of our baby
• That we would trust God as He writes our family’s story.
• Pray for the grants we will be applying for. 

Thank you so much for playing such an enormous part of our adoption!

Adoption Update!

adoption update from Aaron Slaten on Vimeo.

Hey friends here is a short video update about our adoption process.

Update: Big Announcement

Our blog has been quiet for a while as we have been in the throes of the Holidays as well as fighting (or really succumbing to!) a nasty stomach bug.  But thankfully December is here and with it brings renewed energy and purpose.  Now we can fully embrace this Advent season with good health!  We wanted to provide everyone with an update on our adoption process.

•  We want to say a huge “thank you!” to everyone who has given to our “Piece by Piece” Fundraiser!  It’s been so encouraging and humbling to receive donations.  It confirms what we believe, which is that adoption is at the very heart of God and He is stirring other’s hearts to give to His story for our family.  We are overwhelmed by your generosity!  
• There has been a re-occurring question we are asked that we want to address.  This current fund raiser does not raise for us all of the funds needed for our adoption.  This was just ONE way we are going about raising funds.  We had two garage sales this past Spring and Summer that were semi-successful (and a TON of work!).  We also made and sold tank tops with a friend of mine to raise money.  Aaron became a master button sewer!  :)  We might make those again come Spring.  ** one cool fact-we think one of our tank tops made it onto an episode of Duck Dynasty!  We’re famous!**  So once the puzzle is finished we are about ⅓ of the way to our goal which is between 14,000 and 20,000.  
• We are one meeting and a few papers away from being finished with our Home Study.  Hooray!!  At that point, we make a Profile book with a letter to a Birth mom . . . And then we wait and pray!  We wait to be matched with a Birth Mom and pray that God would prepare us for the Slaten baby He has for us.  We are excited about being called to a domestic adoption and love the possibility of loving on a birth mom and having her become an extended part of our family.  We are excited about the Gospel transforming us through this adoption as well as the Lord using us and our story to show His love to others.  
• We are expanding the number of pieces of our puzzle to include more pieces to be sold!  We love that the back of this puzzle will tell our child the story of God’s love for he or she in that all of these people gave so that he or she could be given a new life, a new name and an inheritance that can’t be taken away.  It will be a beautiful tapestry of names that give our child a tangible picture of a Father’s extravagant love-the same love that rescues every one of us.  What a beautiful time of year to remember this extravagant love in the person of Jesus, who was born to rescue the world from darkness! 
• Please consider giving a gift with a purpose this year for Christmas!  Maybe you can give pieces of our puzzle in honor or in memory of someone this Christmas season.  What a beautiful way to love or honor the person in your life who has everything!  Or there are tons of way you can research to give a gift with meaning this year.  Aaron and I have been challenged to place our money strategically in ways that give back.  We plan on buying family gifts this year that support another friend of mine’s adoption.  There are so many way to get creative!

Slaten Adoption from Aaron Slaten on Vimeo.

Here is how our “Piece by Piece” Fundraiser works:

1. Click on the “Donate” button to your right.
2. In the “Product line” write the name you would like to use for us to write on a puzzle piece.  Or multiple names if buying more than one.
3. Once you have entered the dollar amount click "update total".
4. Log into your paypal and donate.

If you would prefer to donate through check please email us at aslaten@mac.com for our mailing address.